I learned Haltom's 20th the hard way. A graduate student who ended up an administrator -- another good girl gone bad -- asked me to help her move. It should have occurred to me that graduate school selected for brawn even less than for brains, but I did not appreciate that until I arrived at her place. I beheld at least a half dozen men who might never have seen football, let alone played it.
It stood to reason that when a heavy, awkward, fragile case for display [in both the functional and anthropologic senses of "display"] needed to be transported up a narrow, steep staircase, I was selected to be gravity guy. A rugger who then outweighed me was steering at the top of the case. I was pushing from the bottom. No more than two alleged adults fit in the stairway, so Joe and I were elected. As I sweated and slogged, Haltom's 20th law came to me: "Of course, she treasures this display case! Anyone with a chance of having to lift it would have selected a lighter case."
This maxim has cognate propositions.
- Those with weak backs will tend to to have wanderlust and myriad buddies too proud and too stupid to fake a back injury.
- Those who cannot raise a bet will be most indecisive about where furniture should go -- and more indecisive the heavier the furniture.
- Whenever the moving van arrives, the proudest would-be participants in a move will discover that their desk drawer needs immediate reorganization.
- Those who cannot use technology will be most enthusiastic about its availability and adoption -- especially slackers who look for labor-saving devices that save them the capacity to work.
Feel free to comment on perversities that correspond to Haltom's 20th law.
Coming Soon -- Haltom's 21st Law: What is not worth doing is not worth doing well.
1 comment:
The less civilly one is playing, the more civility one will be braying.
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